In my climbing (and other recreational pursuits), I’ve analysed where my stoke comes from, and worked out that it’s the zone at the point of total commitment coupled with greatest uncertainty of outcome.
Magnification of both those aspects lengthens the timeframe of being in that zone.
This Leukaemia Adventure is certainly providing ample opportunity to explore my mindset.
Leukaemia is a sneaky disease and can morph into other forms of blood mutations, so it’s more a case of learning to live with it than battling it.
So far, so good, but it’s a long unpaved path ahead. A scheduled bone marrow transplant soon will give me a 25% chance of living successfully with it. I have no viable alternative, so yes please, I’ll have another throw of the dice …
An update.
I'm readmitted to hospital after having another short break, for another Hickman Line insertion and commencement this arvo of chemo treatment again, as a final blast to reduce my immune system to nil (over the next week), as preparation for bone marrow transplant on 28 Dec.
So, I’m back in recovery with another piece of body art (new Hickman Line), for next show and tell time.
As part of the process I had an interview with the Principal Investigator Haematologist and he underscored my situation in his subsequent report which I quote a portion of, for your interest …
“We discussed the likely toxicities of infections, mucositis, organ dysfunction, graft versus host disease and small risk of graft dysfunction failure. The long term outcomes with a reduced intensity allogeneic transplant are in the order of 50% with 25% risk of relapse and approximately 20% risk of transplant related mortality in the first 2 years of transplant.”
… So, from what I understand, my chances have improved from 30% to 50% recovery, and correspondingly the chance of death as an outcome have reduced from 30% to 20%; with the remaining 30% being a less than optimal outcome…
And, it'll take 2 years to get out of the woods...
:-)
~> It's very obvious to me that I've now become a gambler, to add to my many other vices(!), as it is a definite throwing of the dice in terms of whatever outcome is gained.
~> so, yes please, I’ll have another throw of the dice!
The transplant process is relatively straightforward, however if the result goes awry, there's no reversal of the situation.
~> So, for us it's an easy choice commitment that's based on having no viable alternative.
Although the odds aren't wonderful, I wouldn't mind having the same odds for winning the lottery!
... and on the assumption all goes well in the next two years, I won't be buying any lottery tickets, because I figure I will have used up all of my allocation of 'good odds' this time around.
;-)
Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved ~ Winnie The Pooh - simple but wise words …
The voluntary marrow donation that I later received was triggered by my requirement and the donation is fresh. Con_text: 20 yrs ago there were half a million matches from 1.5 million donors. Today there is 30 million donors but still only half a million matches. This because genetic sequence matching = very well matched, but in the old days many of the matches were not good!
My donor was a German woman living in Germany.
Thank you, thank you unknown voluntary donor.
The donation consisted of:
4.6 million stem cells / kilo
Chilled to minus 195.8 C
Collected Germany 29/11/22
Genetically tested again in Australia for quality assured matching.
Given Australia 28/12/22
(Blood group O+ so it turns out that my blood group didn’t change after all!).
Not all of the marrow was given to me, as they hold some in reserve in case I need it further down the line. I think it is retained till 2043 or something like that…
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