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Shaky Knees at Sugarloaf 9-Jun-2010 At 12:31:03 PM earwig

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After having my anterior cruciate ligament snap playing tennis (it would have been a killer backhand if I didn’t collapse screaming), an operation to fix said ligament and a swag of physio, I decided to try my knee on the rock last weekend after about a 12 month layoff. The first step was to find a partner. My usual companion said he love to but recent surgery to remove skin cancers from his arm still required a bit of healing, so he was out. Next was my teenage son, but that meant he would have to get out of bed before lunch. However, much to my surprise, the suggestion of going climbing received the response of “Sure”.

I dragged my gear out from under the bed and was soon ready to go. However, my son’s enthusiasm didn’t extend to getting out of bed before noon and so we didn’t hit the road until just before one. That’s okay. Something small and light and short to start off with – it has been a year or so – and the crag isn’t that far away.

Eventually I am starting up an easy wall, one I’ve climbed a dozen times before. Weird thing is, my brain goes all jelly-like as I’m placing my first bit of gear and I can feel my arms and legs following suit. I’m tempted to downclimb, top-rope something and test my knee out that way, but a part of me knows I’d be really pissed off with myself if I did. Stupid, stupid, stupid, I tell myself; just make a move. It felt like I was stuck there for ages, staring up at the route and wondering if I could make it, knowing I could – if I could only move. I place my foot on a hold and it feels ready to slip off. I scrounge around and find a finger hold that feels doubtful and pull myself higher. I start moving again and soon everything is a breeze and I’m sitting on a ledge belaying my son.

“How was it?” I ask him.

“Bit easy. Can we try something harder – if your knee is up to it?”

My knee is fine. It’s my head that’s the problem.