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Friday Funnies 8-Aug-2008 At 12:29:16 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Now, now, Mr IdratherbeclimbingM9 you are becoming cynical in your latter years! and as for young Mr Capt_mulch you probably are still on a high after playing with your new gear in the quarry so I will skip over your lack of humour.

In fact I’d say it is all in how you see things?
Here are a couple of examples.

George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by G*d.

G*d informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in
this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was
destroying the Earth in three days.

They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses, and tell
their friends and colleagues what was happening. G*d did tell them
though, that no matter what they did he was "not" changing his mind.

So, George W. went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for
you. First the good news . . . there is a G*d. The bad news is that he
is destroying the Earth in 3 days."

Vladimir went back and told his staff, "I have bad news and more bad news.
The first was . . . there is a G*d. The second was that he is destroying
the Earth in 3 days."

Bill Gates went back and told his staff, "I have good news and good
news. First . . . G*d thinks I am one of the three most important people
in the world. Second . . . you don't have to fix the bugs in Windows Vista."

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.

The demon asked, 'Why so glum?'

The guy responded, 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'

'Hell's not so bad,' the demon said. 'We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?'

'Sure,' the man said, 'I love to drink.'

'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!'

The guy is astounded. 'Damn, that sounds great.'

'You a smoker?' the demon asked.

'You better believe it!'

'You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! . If you get cancer, no biggie You're already dead, remember?'

'Wow, the guy said, 'that's awesome!'

The demon continued. 'I bet you like t o gamble.'

'Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.'

'Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?'

The guy said, 'Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . .'

'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!'

'Wow,' the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, 'I never realized Hell was such a cool place!'

The demon said, 'You gay?'

'No.'

'Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!'