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General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User

Dear Simey 2-Apr-2007 At 11:02:40 AM simey

Message

On 1/04/2007 tastybigmac wrote:
>Dear Simey, i am getting really old now and climb like shit. how do you combat the sands of time and stay so youthful?

Tastybigmac, I am glad to see that you have regurgitated this old thread that helped so many troubled souls in the past.

Your predicament is one that we all go through unless you to choose to follow the adage 'Live fast, die young, leave a pretty corpse'.

The three things you need to avoid are...

having children
mid-aged spread
hair loss

Of course genetics plays a role in some of this stuff, but fortunately we live in an age where science can come to our rescue. Just look at what Advanced Hair (yeah, yeah) has done for Warney.

As for climbing like shit... well instead of training I prefer to focus on illusion. My trick is to make sure I am seen around the crag, talking it up, taking an interest in what's going on... anything that doesn't involve climbing basically.

And on those rare occasions I do touch rock, it is usually under the guise of teaching some young nymphette the ropes, or checking easy routes for the new guidebook. Providing no one sees me fail dismally on a route, then my upper limit is whatever I want people to believe.

Good luck and hopefully you will get to experience the hedonstic, playboy lifestyle that I still enjoy into my old age.