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General Climbing Discussion

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Snakes on rock 28-Sep-2006 At 1:26:37 PM The Keeper

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Obviously down in sedate, pastoral lands of Victoria you have missed the "Jungle (Queen'sland) Story). I'll do the matey thing and share the beta - it's the hind- end mate that is the target! Thylacine derived canines can leave a mate scarred for life! I even managed to flush one of these matildas out of the qurank jungle lands and she blatantly confessed they are into butt-biting. You have been advised! And there is the collateral damage which can be even more fatal! After some gall bladder surgery in May and the addition of a few additional sections of scar tissue to my belay-gured carcass - I was told by a good mate up in Amazonia that "those climbing matildas dig scars - my new ones likely wouldn't pass muster - they prefer them in a different place!!! And they are particular about having their own way with a good mate and setting their own design outcome! You can avoid some of the incoming dental incursions by offering up free hair salon passes, leaving a few canisters of Channel No. 5 around some of the belay stations and maybe a Gucci dress gift voucher or two as well. Maybe I should approach Loney Planet about issuing a guide to Climbing Survival in Amazonia - could be another best seller. It is based in Melb so who can argue with that as a fountain of authoritative information! A good lad affiliated with ROCK professed that these gnarly vixens take no prisoners (his experience) but my observation is that there can be a few unexplained exceptions - but it is maybe grimmer once evaluated in detail. Tethered to matilda marital internment camps throughout the Great Aussie Death Zone - the poor blokes are kept on a short leash - and consigned to digging water wells - 24/7 in a hopeless search for water to sustain these vixens hair salons and spas. No footy matches or visits to the pubs with the good mates! These matildas are infamous for lacking even the most residual sense of humor! Month old meat pies and a few mouldy roos bones to chew on for the poor blokes. And lots of starch ! Grim. The good mates up there need some help - time to turn this equation around and introduce some serious domestication of the thylacine hordes! Victoria and Araps seem like heaven by comparison to Queen'sland and the Boonah-Beechmont-Ballina death zone.