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General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User

Flying the flag for old people 16-Nov-2005 At 7:13:06 PM kerroxapithecus

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On 16/11/2005 Romfrantic wrote:
>I just wish there
>were more women out there in this position to also share their thoughts
>and experiences, it seems like as soon as women hit their 30s we don't
>seem to hear from them again - specialy the ones that have children! :-(
>
the legal and accounting professions talk about the same issue. Women make up more than 50% of law graduates now but they seem to disappear from the scene in their 30s and make up only a small percentage of partners of firms and only 14% of Barristers.

I find that ultimately people do what they want to do. If they really want something, they'll make it happen. Think about it...if you aren't getting something you want it's likely to be because you're not putting your energies into it. The fact is the priorities change when you have children and what you thought was such a great thing before fades into oblivion. Your child is your number one priority and that's because you want it that way. It's not a burden or an issue for most people. Things change....the cycle of life. Trust in it and where it takes you. There are exceptions and it will be possible to climb a lot if you want to. The first 2 years or so will generally be the most restrictive and most women will tell you that they think, eat, breath and sleep baby. I still wake in the middle of the night if I hear a small whimper - after 6 years. You can't tune out...ever (mum that is). Then if you have successive births...well then you're going to be tied up for a while. But it's always useful to remember that this early stage ends and you will get more freedom in time after which you will be thinking how quick the time has gone. I found it difficult to talk to people about other things apart from baby-related matters because I was so used to doing the mum thing. When my daughter was 2 I took up a fulltime law degree. Other mothers looked at me as if I was an alien and people still say to me "I don't know how...." "That must have been so difficult...." etc etc. But it wasn't difficult for me...not at all. I loved it. I had less time than other people in the course but I wouldn't say it was hard. My attitude was do or die and there were other major difficulties that meant the course was a breeze compared to them. The reality was that it was do or poverty. I could have traded those study hours in for climbing time if I wanted to so there is time to do what you want if you want it. The fact is most people don't want it and that's why they disappear off the scene.

I see more issues between couples being a potential problem with children coming along rather than a mother's disappointment at not being able to climb. He may have more time and more desire to go climbing because his life is not revolving around baby whereas hers is and she feels sour because he goes off and she's left holding the baby. But this is the same for anything and not just climbing-related. I could go on and on but I won't ....just sort it all out before you do the deed. Work out who does what beforehand although I'll bet you all the promises and good intentions under the sun will be made but in reality they won't happen. Call me a cynic but I've seen it. If you love climbing and you want to do it together I'm sure there will be time - maybe not the same amount but I'm sure you won't mind when you find out how wonderful parenthood is. For women who want to keep doing things - you have to make it happen yourself - no one is going to do it for you. If you don't want your life to change don't have children because it will change but I haven't yet met a person who has told me they regret it.