Kerroxapithecus, you sound a bit like me with regards to equipment. The more you educate yourself on the performance of the equipment you are using, it's positives and negatives, may benefit in how comfortable you will become with it.
As for height, as I said to someone struggling with one climb last night, many people aren't actually scared of heights they are scared of exposure. They might be totally comfortable on a 10m vertical wall or overhang, but stepping across a gap totally freaks them out.
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