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Friday Funnies 9-Sep-2016 At 10:38:36 AM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Yoo hoo lovely Chockstone peoples out there in cyber land where it is nice and dry unlike today in south east Australia; in particular Mr AP who might relate to the following, as it's Friday again and what better to do than kick this thread along?

>I left that Toxic, Utterly Miserarble place that it has degenerated into with a smile on my face, Integrity, Honesty, ethics, morals and Pride in my job intact and a Very Happy heart.

Reading this reminded Derek my M10 love and I, about events in the U S of A at the moment, and a couple of the Mr Trump things he has heard down at the pub, so I thought I'd share with them you.

America and UK are having a competition to see who can mess their country up the most.
UK is currently in the lead but America has a Trump card.

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour
of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have
him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for
just $100.'

The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss for a few minutes. They
return with their answer to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald
Trump shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him
home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only
$100?

The American diplomats reply, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here,
and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take the risk.'

OK, enough of the trumpery silliness which should rightly be long buried issues; but hopefully not like this..

>I can't apologise if I 'got the gig'

Bagpiper funeral.

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

A bagpiper, who played many gigs. Recently was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who used to boulder in the back blocks of the Wimmera of Victoria near a certain scenic Mount. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the area.
As he was not familiar with the back blocks of the area, he got lost and, being a typical man, didn't stop for directions.
He finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. He felt bad and apologised to the men for being late.

He went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. He didn't know what else to do, so he started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. He played out his heart and soul for this boulderer fellow with no family and friends. He played like he had never played before for this homeless man.
And as he played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. He wept, a passer-by wept, they all wept together. When he finished, he packed up his bagpipes and started for his car.
Though his head was hung low, his heart was full.
As he opened the door to his car, he heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty three years."
Apparently, he’s still lost...