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Friday Funnies 15-Aug-2014 At 3:49:31 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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On 1/08/2014 martym wrote:
>Shouldn't this be in the Nowra thread?

No Mr martym. Are you some kind of sicko?
- but I do see how it would apply to all things Nowra, and the sickness would fit right in.

Yoo hoo Mr kieranl, waving at you madly from over here dearie.
I notice from a post of yours this week that you are quite, how shall I say it; ... sincere; . . . in your response to dealing with an unconscious abseiler incident.

Derek my M10 love says that use of that kind of language, is just a bloke thing.
In an effort to convince me, he told me the following things (see below), but I am still not convinced.
Maybe you can relate to many of these precepts for life?

Paddy goes into a Dublin Florist shop and says,
"I would like to buy a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend".
The florist looked at him and said, "Certainly Sir, what is it you're after?"
"A root ", Paddy replies.
(I think Derek has told me that one before)?

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or root it...
Piss on it and walk away.

Derek heard that Mr ODH saw a fortune teller the other day. She told him he would come into some money.
Later he heard that he rooted a sheila called Penny - spooky or what?

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quick bout of love making, with their 8-year old son in the apartment, was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the Street activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted.
'An ambulance just drove by!'
'Looks like the Anderson 's have company,' he called out.
'Matt's riding a new bike!'
'Looks like the Sanders are moving!'
'Jason is on his skate board!'
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having a root!'
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know that?'
'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar' ...

Are you feeling romantic Mr k? Perhaps you are you a rose fan?

A man takes a lady out to dinner for the first time. Later they go on to a show.
The evening is a huge success and as he drops her at her door he says 'I have had a lovely time.
You looked so beautiful, you remind me of a beautiful climbing rose. May I call on you tomorrow?'
She agrees and a date is made.
The next night he knocks on her door and when she opens it she slaps him hard across the face.
He is stunned. 'What was that for?' he asked.
She said 'I looked up beautiful climbing rose in the encyclopaedia last night and it said ‘Best suited for rooting against a brick wall or fence, no good in an open bed’.

Ok, if you are not feeling romantic perhaps you need a beer, but be careful of what you find on the fridge...

An uncouth bloke got home from work and found the missus had left a post-it note on the fridge saying;

"It's no good, it's not working, I'm staying at mums for a while."

He opened it, the light came on, and the beer was well chilled.

f--- knows what she was on about?

Derek tells me that if none of the above relates to your life experience, then you have only got yourself to blame, as it just means you couldn't organise a root in a brothel.

I am still not sure I agree with him.