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Bagging Nowra.. 16-Jul-2014 At 9:22:54 PM f_abe

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Okay, I must acquiesce that I was a trifle harsh on Australia’s sport climbing (and fat and ugly, but that’s an unfair gross generalization we came up with after a random sample of social services offices, pubs, backstreets and mall) capital.

Never before have I stayed at such a well-equipped free campsite; car seats round the fire, bicycles turned into bbq’s, entertainment provided by locals in sh!tty cars ‘cutting sick’, and constant reminders of those halcyon childhood days of coming home with untold treasures after a trip to the hard rubbish dump, before the greeny do-gooders ruined such adventures.
And now, sadly (and somewhat ironically), a TAFE.

Recent trips with cob (child on board) opened eyes to a new world. The animal park is truly great, and the caravan parks provided an insight into an eclectic variety of ‘otherworlders’ that only compare to Natimuk after dark. Whilst it’s true that Berry sourdough, is, almost as good as its donuts, it’s just not Nowra. It’s like saying Sydney’s good cos it’s near the Blueys. Or Horsham’s good cos it’s near Arapiles. Or the big Koala rocks cos it’s near Taipan.

You go there, tick a bunch of closely bolted routes, or project a ‘hard one’ swapping beta with fellow ‘hard men’, and go home happy that you’ve climbed something. Then when you wipe your feet on the mat and wonder “WTF is that smell” you realize the only ‘hard one’ was in your pants, and that Shazza down the North Nowra Tav actually looked okay after your sixth Tooheys ‘give that man a’ New.

If rocks were surf breaks, Nati locals would ask you politely to step off their flared greasy seam cracks before breaking into an interpretive dance to express their frustration in a non-confrontational manner (save the odd hammer wielding psycho), Grampians tough guys would remove their shirts, look you in the eye, tell you you’re a poof for wanting to replace a bash in carrort, and get stuck into some good old fashioned biffo, while Nowrites would knee you in the nuts when you weren't looking and blow their windfall at the nearest pokies…

So why the hell do I keep going back there???
Cos climbing is climbing. A day at the stinkiest, dankest, darkest Nowra bogan infested cliff, or a day at work?