On 19/06/2014 pmonks wrote:
>Yosemite (day one): j1zz pants driving in, get lost trying to find parking
>lot for chosen "mega classic" route, find parking lot, walk through prickly
>untracked manzanita scrub for half a mile while being eaten alive by mosquitos
>(attacted to j1zzpants), discover actual parking lot for route, notice
>25 cars with climbing brand stickers in windows - don't think much of it,
>follow 10 foot wide trail for 100 yards directly to base of route, discover
>37 parties queued up at base of grungy, loose, moss covered blocks, wait
>for 3 hours for queue to clear, while watching all manner of bumbly epics
>(and that's just while gearing up!), sun sets, bail to Degnan's for nasty
>pizza dinner.
>
>Yosemite (day two): wake up at 3am, shout at partner when s/he wastes
>time by attempting to eat breakfast, drive at 100MPH to (correct) parking
>lot, notice 3 cars with climbing brand stickers in the windows - panic,
>grab gear and sprint down trail - don't notice you've left your right climbing
>shoe behind, discover 2 parties on the route and 1 party queued at base,
>time check: 3:15am, start racking up, discover missing shoe, spend 30 minutes
>walking up and down trail trying to find shoe, lose place in queue (go
>to the back), wait, wait some more, time check: 8:30am, finally start up
>grungy, loose, moss covered blocks, climb two pitches of that wondering
>whether seppos don't understand "mega classic" (or English at all, for
>that matter), reach "money" pitch 3 - a 50m 5.8 offwidth, spend 20 minutes
>trying to get off belay ledge, spend 2 hours french freeing the pitch with
>only one cam that fits, curse Yosemite sandbag grading, curse granite offwidths,
>get sunstroke belaying second as s/he epics up the pitch without the benefit
>of the "thank god" cam, bail by abseiling over the 22 angry parties blocked
>up behind you, vomit, take 45 minutes to crawl the 100 yards back to the
>car, swear never to go near Yosemite ever again.
tl;dr |