Chockstone Forum

      Sponsored By
      ROCK
   HARDWARE

Chockstone Photography

Australian Landscape Prints

Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User

Friday Funnies 2-Aug-2013 At 5:01:19 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

Message

On 26/07/2013 Mr shortman wrote:
>I think you are having a particularly bad week MrsM10orWhateveritis.

Derek my M10 love tells me that I am wasting my time trying to elevate the standard of chocky gutter-dweller sense of humour, so I will go back to having a 'good week' just for you dearie.
Where were we, oh, now I remember, back to the 69 kind of thing.
You don't work for the mob, or drive a cab for a crust do you?

Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together.

One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?"

"I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man.

He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives.

Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding."

"You got a silver compact and a red pickup?"

"The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck."

The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom."

"I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls."

The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot."

"I don't care! Just do it!"

The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one deal!"

The Crabby Cabbie

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc...
The cabbie said, ''If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!''

So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, ''How much for a ride to the airport,'' he asked?

''Fifteen bucks,'' came the reply.
''And how much for you to give me a blow-job on the way?''
''What?! Get the hell out of my cab.''
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, ''How much for a ride to the airport?''
The cabbie replied, ''Fifteen bucks.''
The businessman said, ''OK,'' and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.