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Friday Funnies 26-Jul-2013 At 2:01:14 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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On 19/07/2013 Mr kieranl wrote:
>Have to hand it to MrsM10. She has a definite air of je ne foie gras about her.

Thank you Mr kieranl, I think, but non merci, je ne mange pas de foie gras, je suis contre le gavage des oies.

What’s the matter Mr kieranl? Are you feeling that what amuses Derek my M10 love is a little too base for your delicate sensitivities? He used to care, but takes a pill for that now, so how about some statistical humour then, as Derek my M10 love has come across the following that might appeal to you.

Funny stats, or humour of a higher level?

No New South Welshman has ever twittered that they have won a State of Origin series as it was not invented when they last won.

There’s a band called 1023Mb – they haven’t had a gig yet.

Programmer’s wife tells him “go to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen” Programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Logician’s wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife asks “is it a boy or a girl” Logician replies “yes”.

2 scientists walk into a bar. First one says “I’ll have some H2O” 2nd scientist says “I’ll have some H2O too”. 2nd scientist dies.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.

Two kittens on a sloped roof. Which one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.

Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean a martini?” asks the bartender. Roman replies “If I wanted a double I’d have asked for it.”

There are only two hard things in computer science – cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says “make me one with everything”.

Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas - ‘cos Oct 31 = Dec 25

Einstein, Newton and Pascal playing hide and seek. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one metre by one metre square in front of Einstein then stands in the middle. Einstein reaches 10 and opens his eyes, sees Newton immediately – “Found you, you’re it!” Newton smiles and says “no, you found a Newton per square metre, you found Pascal”.

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says “Sorry we don’t server noble gases here” He didn’t react.

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don’t.

How do you tell the difference between an Oral Thermometer and an Anal Thermometer ?
... The taste.

Oh, and Derek tells me that he would like to apologise to anyone that he hasn't offended.
Please be patient, he will get to you sooner or later.