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Friday Funnies 21-Jun-2013 At 3:54:04 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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I think that thieving young lass is wearing a harness under her skirt Mr ajfclark. One with preslung prussik loops perhaps?

Yoo hoo Mr dalai, Mr Duang Daunk told Derek my M10 love in the pub the other night that he heard a rumour that you might be applying for a position with the Nati Rams. Not slowing up at all are we dearie? I wouldn't worry about it to much though, as not everything one hears in the pub is true. Take the following that a couple of my friends experienced as an example.

HELEN AND LEANNE ARE OUT HAVING A COFFEE AND CATCHING UP.

So, how was your evening last night?

A disaster! After getting home, Kevin wolfed down in four minutes the dinner that had taken me all afternoon to prepare, granted me three minutes of passionate love before rolling over and falling asleep two minutes later. Nightmare! And you?

Oh, mine was incredible. Graeme was waiting for me to get back home from work. He took me out for a very romantic dinner. We then walked back home, under an amazing starry sky, along the canal, for a good two hours. Once home, he lit all the candles and we had foreplay which lasted for an hour. We then made love for another hour and chatted until late. It was wonderful.

MEANWHILE, KEVIN AND GRAEME WERE AT THE PUB

So, how was your evening last night, Kevin?

Incredible! When I came home, the food was ready. I ate, we shagged and I fell asleep. Wonderful night, I just love my wife. You?

A nightmare! I came home early to fix the kitchen shelf. When I switched on the power drill, the fuse went out. The whole house went into darkness. Couldn't find the bloody fuse box, so when Helen arrived I took her out for dinner. It was the only thing to do to avoid getting an earful! The dinner was fine but was so expensive I couldn't afford a taxi, so we had to walk home. It took ages and once there, the house was still in the dark, obviously, so I had to light all these f***ing candles to avoid knocking everything over. I was so wound up and pissed off that it took me an hour to get a hard on, and another hour to finish. In the end, I was still wound up and it took me ages to fall asleep, while she kept yapping on and on about everything and nothing ....... total disaster!!

Yoo hoo Mr Stugang, or is it Mr Eduardo Slabovic these days? I see apart from an identity crisis you still like bum jokes dearie, but in the interest of possibly opening your horizons when you keep the irritation levels up for the lovely mods of this site, Derek my M10 love suggests you think about the following item he asked me to post for you after he read your comment about pushing logs out.

The Captain of an English rumrunner merchantman was happily sailing his way around the place and over the horizon his lookout spies a Pirate ship bearing down on them. The Captain orders for all the canvas possible to be raised but it becomes quickly obvious that their ship is not going to be able to outrun the pirates and the Captain calls his crew to arms and battle stations. He explains to the crew their dire situation and that they will have to fight for their lives. He then turns to his first mate and asks him to fetch from his cabin his bright, red, silk shirt.

After the ensuing violent, bloody and successful battle the first mate asks the Captain "Why did you ask for your red shirt wouldn't that have made you a target for the pirates?"
"Well son if I was to get injured at all crew would loose heart and not fight as they needed, this way they would not know anything was wrong if I was hurt and so we won."

The mate duly thought on this wisdom and put it away for when one day he to would be Captain.

Well in the next tour of duty several months later the lookout spies 6 pirate ships over the horizon bearing down, they raise canvas but alas their ship is just to slow and the the Captain once again calls the crew to arms and encourages to them to fight gallantly and with courage as once before.

The mate asks "Captain shall I fetch your red shirt once more?"

"No mate you had best get me my BROWN PANTS!!!!!!"

If that did not strike an accord with you, he knows you will appreciate the bluntness contained in the following one.

How do you seat four Nati Ram lovers on a bar stool...???

Turn it upside down!