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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User
Friday Funnies 17-May-2013 At 4:42:04 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.
Message
I think that one has been done before Mr tnd, but don't worry dearie, as it was quite a while ago and some folk may not have seen it.

On the topic of people seeming to be out of sorts lately. Mr Kieranl are you paying attention? Derek my M10 love tells me that you might be interested in the following therapy.


The Hypnotist therapy.


A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches
I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, ''What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist.
He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
"I do not have a headache;
I do not have a headache,


I do not have a headache.."

It Worked! The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of Fire in
the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist
and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it.



Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes,
picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He puts her on the bed and says,

"Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the Bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps
into bed and makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."
He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was
even better than The First time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says,
"Don't move, I'll be right back."
With that, he goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom,
She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,



"She's not my wife,
She's not my wife,
She's not my wife"

His funeral service will be held on Friday.





He also suggested to me that if it doesn't work, you might like to try remembering the salient lesson in the following, as a litmus test.


An elderly lady was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names.'

The elderly lady hung her head, I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind a few years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is.'

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