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Friday Funnies 1-Mar-2013 At 1:47:28 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Hello Chockerstone lovelies.
Derek my M10 love has tired a bit lately of the ongoing bickering about bolts and stuff on this site interesting as that is, and has spent a lot more time at the pub than usual as a result.
He has been telling me all sorts of pub talk regarding that horrible shooting incident in South Africa. A lot of it is not politically correct, but if listened to in light hearted fashion (as I often have to do when Derek comes home pissed), it contains some humour and grains of truth too I suspect, so here are some of his ramblings repeated for others to chuckle at.

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like an abled bodied athlete, who would have thought he meant OJ Simpson?

Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.

I’m struggling to find any of my usual porn.
Now when I google “f---ed African amputee” all I get is stories about Oscar Pistorius.

Apparently Oscar wanted to paint the bathroom door, but she was dead against it.

Well I guess we should count ourselves lucky Oscar Pistorius was competing in the men’s 400m at the Olympics, and not starting it.

Oscar Pistorius has an incredible record of wins to his name.
Six gold medals, four silver medals and one argument.

Things aren’t that bad, for Oscar Pistorius.
He has the court’s best car parking space.

It’s hard not to envy Oscar Pistorius’s girlfriend.
I’ve never seen anyone receive so many flowers on valentines day.

What do you call a room full of dead people?
An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party.

As well as losing his legs it seems Oscar Pistorius also lost the ability to shout…
“Hey Reeva is that you in the bathroom having a shit?”

Oscar Pistorius’ favourite band has always been ‘Bullet For My Valentine’

Oscar Pistorius has said he won’t be entering any further races.
I think he has to worry more about different races entering him, once he’s in prison.

And the Oscar goes to ......(drumroll)...... JAIL

She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her ... it was the silence of the limbs.

Absolutely shocking news from South Africa ... White man arrested for murder.

Oscar Pistorius. Just because he has no legs doesn't mean he's unarmed.

Oscar Pistorius's legal defence? - he hasn't got a leg to stand on.

New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely
acquits him of his girlfriend's murder.
Footprints.

What did Oscar Pistorius get for Valentine's day?... 20 years.

Breaking news: Oscar Pistorius named in South African shooting team for 2016 Olympics.

It must have been dark when Oscar Pitorius shot his girlfriend ...
He said he couldn't see two feet in front of him.

Shame about Oscar Pistorius, ... the man had the world at his knees.

Trying to surprise your partner on Valentines day? ... Worth a shot.

I take it Oscar Pistorius' girlfriend bought him shoes for Valentines?

Oscar Pistorius, bringing a whole new meaning to 'taking your girlfriend out on
Valentines day'.

Newspaper headline: Unarmed girlfriend shot dead by unlegged boyfriend

Word of the day: 'pistorius' meaning 'handy with a pistol'

First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius.
I think Nike should start telling their athletes "Don't Do It"

New revelations in the Oscar Pistorius case. Police found a cricket bat covered
in blood on the scene!
And a pair of stumps...

Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Don't try to surprise
Oscar Pistorius.