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Friday Funnies 15-Feb-2013 At 3:17:34 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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>Senior sex

Ahh Mr simey, you are finally getting sufficiently old that you are beginning to understand that senior sex can be like aid climbing, and whatever works is good!
Derek my M10 love, is yelling out in the background to tell you, that since there is no decent money to be made in writing guidebooks, the fence is good to go when you can no longer afford to put a battery in your vibrator too dearie.

Where were we? Oh, that's right, I meant to talk about Common Sense today but Mr simey distracted me for a short while.

You'd think that everybody would have a little, but that's not always the case, so Derek my M10 love decided to help by finding the following;

Special Announcement: End-of-the-World Common Sense Kit. A runout special since the recent Mayan calendar prediction that the world will come to an end last December 21st. Recognizing our civic responsibility, we put together a special Common Sense package: with every Common Sense Kit we sell, we'll throw in a second Kit for FREE!!! That's right, you get 2-for-1. Talk about a sweet deal!!! This is a limited time offer which expires when we run out of kits, or upon the next end of the world, whichever comes first.

We've had a number of customers ask where they could get some good-old-fashioned Common Sense, the kind their grandparents had. They want it for themselves, or for family members, or as a special gift for one of their climbing friends.
Recognising the need and rising to the challenge, the Staff at Best Results put together a simple but surprisingly effective Common Sense Kit. Features include:
* Storage pouch - keeps your Common Sense clean, dry, and neatly organized.
* Easy to install - just slip it in that empty space between your ears, no tools required.
* Small size - quickly folds up, requires no extra space, take it with you anywhere you go.
* Expandable - stretches to cover every situation, returns to original size when you're finished.
* Lightweight - weighs next to nothing, even when solving heavy problems.
* Adaptable - unisex design, one size fits all, gender neutral, and suitable for all ages.
* Fashionable - comes in every colour, matches any style, compliments any wardrobe.

Here's what each Kit contains:
* A short list of the most important things your parents taught you as a small child.
* A long list of the things you were taught in school, but quickly forgot.
* A list of do's and don'ts that cover most social situations, including those really awkward moments when people stop talking about you as you approach.
* A list of do's and don'ts that cover the basics of climbing, including gear placement, rope management technique, bouldering in KT26 runners to make an impression, climbing with a helmet, and much more.
* Amusing anecdotes featuring real people who actually used some measure of Common Sense in their daily lives.
* An easy-to-follow flow chart that's helpful for solving simple problems that you managed to make more difficult than necessary.
* Warning stickers to identify any truly complex tasks that should be left for a professional.
* Adhesive placards for the "Directionally Challenged". Titles include: Up, Down, Left, Right, North, South, This-way-to-camp, That-way-to-get-home, Right-is-tight, Left-is-loose, Fuel-tank-is-on-reserve-and-it's-100-kilometres-to-the-next-service-station, and more. Please specify if you require any specialized placards - additional fees may apply.
* Medic Alert bracelet to warn emergency medical personnel that you suffer from Common Sense Deficiency Syndrome (CSDS). Don't worry, they're trained and know what to do for your condition.

Each kit contains enough Common Sense to last for several weeks. Most customers achieve immediate results after a single application. Those with bouldering I.Q.'s usually require several doses before achieving any results.

Apply Common Sense sparingly - a little goes a long way. It's a rare and valuable commodity, so don't waste it or use it unless you really need it. Over-application does not provide any additional results.

Discontinue use if a rash develops or if you experience symptoms including dizziness, confusion, or brain paralysis. Those with chronic CSDS should consult their physician to determine if Common Sense is appropriate for their medical situation.

Most customers report very good results with the Common Sense Kit, which is why we we get so many repeat orders. Unfortunately we can't guarantee that the Kit will work for everyone, so we can't offer refunds or provide exchanges. After your first application you may discover you're that you're Common Sense Intolerant (CSI). Some people are, they always will be, and nobody can help them... not even the staff of trained professionals who work at Best-Results Products.

Supplies are limited so place your order now. Sorry, only 3 kits per Customer. No hoarding allowed, don't be selfish. Leave some for those who are really in need.

Dealer Inquiries Welcome - we want to get this Kit out to as many people as possible. Millions need it but very few have it. Your business can benefit from having customers who use this product.

Please pay by (spam link moderated by MrsM10 so as not to upset the lovely Mods).

http://www.bestrestproducts.com/images/document/Certificate%20of%20Common%20Sense.pdf