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General Climbing Discussion

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Friday Funnies 25-Jan-2013 At 9:14:42 AM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Derek my M10 love has been quite excited by the discussions on this lovely site this week, though he says they have mostly been rather serious in content, along with the usual smattering of threats and promises. He also tells me that he finds the hardest thing to work out amongst all the fluff is just what Mr ODH is on about, so found me a few funnies to post that he says might help him to lighten up.

Three Nun's involved in a climbing accident.

Three Nun's were climbing a multipitch up in the mountains when all of a sudden they had a FF2 onto the belay and met their end.

The next moment all three find themselves standing at the pearly gates of heaven and a large angel standing in front.

The Angel said "Before I can let you in, you each need to answer a question I have for you."

The Angel said to the first Nun; "Who was the first man on earth?"

The first Nun said "Easy! That would be Adam"
Bells chimed, the pearly gates opened, and in went the first Nun.

The Angel said to the second Nun; "Who was the first woman on earth?"

The second Nun said, "Easy! That would be Eve."
Bells chimed, the pearly gates opened, and in went the second Nun.

The Angel said to the third Nun; "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"

The third Nun was a little shocked at the degree of difficulty of her question, "Gee that's a hard one!" she said.

Bells chimed, the pearly gates opened, and in went the third Nun.

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers and crew on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The captain of the aircraft said "This plane is about to crash!", while strapping on a parachute and jumping out.

The first passenger said, "I am Julia Gillard the prime Minister of Australia, and I am the most brutal woman politician in Australian history, so Australia's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The next passenger, a climber named One Day Hero, said, "I'm the smartest (and most famous) internet personality on Chockstone, and I still have some retards to crucify." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.

The third passenger, President Obama, said to the fourth, a 10-year-old schoolgirl (who also happened to be a computer literate newbie climber!), “I am the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die; nevertheless, I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr President. There's a parachute left for you. Chockstone's smartest personality just took my schoolbag."

Observed and overheard at Arapiles car-park recently.

A well known golden haired Nati local was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his bouldering friend moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth........in and out...in and out.

Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder. Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted................

"OK, OK! So I can't park the f---ing car! You do it, you smug bastard!"