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Friday Funnies 28-Sep-2012 At 12:58:48 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Very good Mz Jody, but I found the accent a bit grating.

On 7/09/2012 Mr widewetandslippery wrote:
>in due respect Mrs10 that was poor.
>
The taste all depends where you have your tongue Mr wws!

>I am working on an offensive joke I will pm it to you to help with maximum
>offense soon

Looking forward to it dearie.
Knowing from your posts that you like a beer and have a thing about catholics and police I have found a couple more ordainry funnies that you can saviour at your leisure?

Pope

After getting all of Popes luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen,' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'Who's going to tell,' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 180 kph.

'Please slow down, Your Holiness,' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence..

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'A senator?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

Someone posted a link to always looking on the bright side of death song in an interesting discussion earlier this week, and Derek my M10 love said it reminded him of this joke for some reason, that I am sure you will appreciate Mr wws.

Bill, Harry and Fred (not their real names) we're installing wind generators, the big-uns. Everything is going along peachy until Harry falls from the top, lands on the ground with a thud and bounce. Instant death.

Bill and Fred are distraught, don't really know what to do, as this hasn't happened to either of them before. They decide to the best course of action is to contact Harry's wife. She hasn't got a mobile, no answer from the home phone, so Bill heads off to tell her face to face. Fred goes off to tell the boss and fill out the incident report, organise for the accident to be addressed.

Later that day after Fred see's Bill walking down the street with a carton, runs over to him to find out why he has a carton of beer just after one of his workmates just had a terrible accident. Well I went to Harry's place, knocked on the door, Harry's wife answers.
I ask her "You must be Harry's widow?"
"NO I think you have the wrong person, my Harry is very much alive and well"
"Bet ya a carton he's not"