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Friday Funnies 17-Aug-2012 At 11:41:22 AM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Hello lovely Chockerstone dearies. Hasn't this past week seen a lot of interesting posts on this site! I mentioned to Derek my M10 love, that some posts although passionate, were also a bit upsetting, but he tells me that I take things too seriously and that many posts are not what they seem and it is simply the medium not being able to communicate the gleam (of anger?) in the eyes of the poster!

He says I ought to consider the following bit he found to see his point.

50 Shades of Grey - Horsham Style.

Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill the lonely hours between Jerry Springer and Days of our Lives.

As he approached me with his pasty white arms hanging out of his Nike vest, his smile told me that it was dole day and I knew that my velour track suit ...would be hanging off the lampshade tonight.

As I stood in line at the job centre thinking of reasons why I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed sweat and Lynx Africa!

I turned and there he was, DWAYNE, with his pants half way down his arse, our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Woolies. He had already tied his Staffy to a post in the alley way so we would not be disturbed, there was a tramp watching but it did not bother us, just added to the mystery.

I knew then that this was love and my life would never be the same again. I made a promise to him there and then that I would buy him a plasma with the baby bonus.

(Author unknown)

OK, after that sombre moment, and reflecting on the kindness involved I decided to get a haircut (always good for a yarn there), but even this turned out to be not what I expected as this is what my hairdresser told me.

The Haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he
asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money
from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was
pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the
next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for
him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The
next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you'
card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door.

Then an MP came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the
barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing
community service this week.' The MP was very happy and left the shop
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
MPs lined up waiting for a free haircut.