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Friday Funnies 22-Aug-2011 At 1:54:25 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Hello Chockstone dearies. Isn't it great that the weather is warming up again for climbing with Spring almost in the air.
Yes, yes, I know it is not Friday but with the early birds and bees weather I thought I might post a couple of funnies early too, that took my fancy.

Young love.

A young Scottish Lad and Lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands and gazing out over the Loch.

For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

”Well, uh I was thinkin’, perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek, then he blushed.

Minutes passed and the girl spoke again, “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

”Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo about time for a wee cuddle.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds, then he blushed.

After awhile, she again said “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

”Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg.”

Once again the girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee, then he blushed.

While the two were gazing out over the Lock, the girl spoke again.

”Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

The young glancing down with a furled brow said, “Well noo, my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.”

”Really” said the lass in a whisper filled with anticipation. “Aye,” said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and held her breath in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me, the first three pennies?’

Derek my M10 love tells me that he thought that last one was OK but he prefers the next one, as it has a twist.

Brothel love.

The madam opened the brothel door in Milngavie and saw a rather
dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early
fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Suzy."

"Sir, Suzy is one of our most expensive ladies.
Perhaps you would prefer someone else" , said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Suzy."

Just then, Suzy appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a
visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it
to Suzy, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Suzy.

Suzy explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she
was too expensive.

"There are no discounts.. The price is still $5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Suzy, and they went
upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night,
but he paid Suzy and they went upstairs.

After their session, Suzy said to the man,
"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.
Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Edinburgh ."

"Really," she said. "I have family in Edinburgh ."

"I know." the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her lawyer
She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

(Apologies dear Chockers people if either of those have been posted before)?