Chockstone Forum

      Sponsored By
      ROCK
   HARDWARE

Chockstone Photography

Australian Landscape Prints

Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Author

The amount of “For Sale” Threads on Chockstone ...

hargs

21-Dec-2010
10:16:50 PM

hargs

21-Dec-2010
10:26:08 PM

3 days.


chuck norris

21-Dec-2010
10:30:55 PM

put it this way - I'm looking forward to getting my select * in march.

One Day Hero

22-Dec-2010
12:46:59 AM

O.K., so I've been out of the country for a while (b.t.w. the climbing in Vietnam is nothing to rave about, but the food is farkin awesome), and I seem to have missed something.

How do I work out who is Stugang and who is Eduardo?


Miguel75

22-Dec-2010
12:55:25 AM

On 21/12/2010 chuck norris wrote:
>Are you asking me on a date?
>
>Wednesdays are usualkly good, but not till the new year.

Why not! Life is pretty odd at present. Dutch or your shout?


pmonks

22-Dec-2010
5:19:26 AM

On 21/12/2010 chuck norris wrote:
>Anyway you sql folk wanna laugh....I have a question for you: How many
>days would you need to write code to extract a csv file from a database
>with no/minimal data manipulation (do NOT include project management time
>in your guess).

Recently did this for the SSS data for Sydney Rockies & ACA, and it took about 3 hours. Albeit I was dumping the data as XML rather than CSV, but that's not your question...

>closest answer wins something - prolly a nut size of your choosing.
[and later]
>put it this way - I'm looking forward to getting my select * in march.

Given this is corporate dev work, I'll go with 1 person-month of effort between now and March. What you'll receive at the end of the process will be:

0 pages of documentation

a project plan with 25 milestones in it

12 two page project status updates

a 7 page test plan signed in triplicate

9 change requests

an unmaintainable Perl script containing 27 lines of gibberish that doesn't work with the data that will exist by the time March comes around

Let me know how close I am!

rightarmbad

22-Dec-2010
9:35:44 AM

All put in place by a knob that cannot understand that if you leave the guys who know what they are doing to do their job and not justify their existance to an idiot that can only see cost cutting, bonus dollar signs in his focus, that things will work way smoother.

It's like a bloody religion, they fear what they cannot understand.
So they put in restrictions that they can understand, because they lack the basic ability to trust somebody, because they are untrustworthy themselves.

They only reason they maintain their position is by back stabbing and plotting, so they believe that the whole of society functions that way.


sbm

22-Dec-2010
9:50:55 AM

On 22/12/2010 pmonks wrote:
>On 21/12/2010 chuck norris wrote:
>>Anyway you sql folk wanna laugh....I have a question for you: How many
>>days would you need to write code to extract a csv file from a database
>>with no/minimal data manipulation (do NOT include project management
>time
>>in your guess).
>
>Recently did this for the SSS data for Sydney Rockies & ACA, and it took
>about 3 hours. Albeit I was dumping the data as XML rather than CSV, but
>that's not your question...
>
>>closest answer wins something - prolly a nut size of your choosing.
>[and later]
>>put it this way - I'm looking forward to getting my select * in march.
>
>Given this is corporate dev work, I'll go with 1 person-month of effort
>between now and March. What you'll receive at the end of the process will
>be:

0 pages of documentation

a project plan with 25 milestones in it

12 two page project status updates

a 7 page test plan signed in triplicate

9 change requests

an unmaintainable Perl script containing 27 lines of gibberish that
>doesn't work with the data that will exist by the time March comes around

>Let me know how close I am!
>

LOL. The 'system engineering management plan' at the last company I was at was a perverse work of art. I've kept the A2 flow chart diagram as a memorial to the struggles we overcame. I might get it framed.

kieranl

22-Dec-2010
12:37:52 PM

On 21/12/2010 chuck norris wrote:
>put it this way - I'm looking forward to getting my select * in march.
So, they're writing it in COBOL on punched cards with a hexadecimal key-pad?

kieranl

22-Dec-2010
12:44:09 PM

On 22/12/2010 pmonks wrote:
>Recently did this for the SSS data for Sydney Rockies & ACA, and it took
>about 3 hours. Albeit I was dumping the data as XML rather than CSV, but
>that's not your question...
For those hooked on XML, this gem from integration guru Michael Czapski :
"PS. XML, and any technologies which use it, should be considered greenhouse gases for the purpose of global warming.Their users should be heavily taxed to offset the gross resource wastage and its consequences on the state of the planet."

gfdonc

22-Dec-2010
1:24:12 PM

That's weird. I know Michael. And he isn't a climber. 6 degrees ..

kieranl

22-Dec-2010
1:52:51 PM

And I don't know Michael but use the enterprise integration tools that he has been developing for many years.


Chuck Norris

22-Dec-2010
5:05:58 PM

Sit down....

.....hold onto your seat....

....take a deep breath and......

.....the answer is......

50 days.

hargs

22-Dec-2010
6:26:16 PM

>50 days.

That's ridiculous. Even pmonks wayoverestimate is significantly short of the mark. I think your devs use this every time they need to look something up:


Chuck Norris

22-Dec-2010
7:54:24 PM

I tried querying it, but now have come to the conclusion that the best way of dealing with it is to think of naked women.

What makes it harder is that I used to work with a guy who was a complete freak. He was totally dyslexic (I learned never share a car with him), but was a genius when it came to databases. I'm talking multiple huge databases with quite complex join rules to get the info I was after (ie to get A and B you needed to go via D, Z and E - you get the picture). He sat over a partition, and from time to time I'd ask him if it was possible to get "blah blah blah blah" which were generally pretty complex requests.

The first time I asked for such a thing I got a bit pissed off as I thought he was being rude, cos he continued typing an email as I was talking to him, while saying "yep, yep, yep" as I talked. I ended up asking how long it would take and before I could finish there was a "ping" as he replied "its in your inbox".


Chuck Norris

22-Dec-2010
8:31:34 PM

On 22/12/2010 Miguel75 wrote:
>On 21/12/2010 chuck norris wrote:
>>Are you asking me on a date?
>>
>>Wednesdays are usualkly good, but not till the new year.
>
>Why not! Life is pretty odd at present. Dutch or your shout?

I'll shout - sounds like you've had shit luck recently. Why not climb first using your swanky new freebie gym pass and then I'll take you out.

Three things:

1. I don't do sex on a first date
2. I'll be wearing this t-shirt....


Miguel75

22-Dec-2010
8:47:54 PM

On 22/12/2010 Chuck Norris wrote:
>>>Are you asking me on a date?
>. Dutch or your shout?
>
>I'll shout - sounds like you've had shit luck recently. Why not climb
>first using your swanky new freebie gym pass and then I'll take you out.
>
>
>Three things:
>
>1. I don't do sex on a first date

Cuddles?

It's a date. It'll have to be next year as I plan on hibernating for the next little bit...

widewetandslippery

23-Dec-2010
7:51:32 AM

What a great hatched matched or dispatched tshirt.


Butters81

23-Dec-2010
8:59:29 AM

and the third thing?


pmonks

23-Dec-2010
8:59:46 AM

On 22/12/2010 Chuck Norris wrote:
>.....the answer is......
>
>
>50 days.

Wow! These guys are clearly professionals of a calibre I don't normally get to associate with!

There are 82 messages in this topic.