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Dealing with fear after breaking ankle in a fall 4-Feb-2011 At 10:26:12 AM Mike Bee

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Thats a good article, quite well written.
I think that it doesn't really go right into the fear of getting back onto trad gear after a serious fall though.

I fell in 2009 and shattered my left ankle. I was out of climbing for months. I had broken bones, destroyed cartlidge and damaged ligaments.

My first trad trip back was to Araps, and I nearly shat myself on Agamemnon, a grade 11 that I'd led a couple of times before I'd fallen. I felt fine on the ground, but as soon as I got above the gear, I was crapping myself. I didn't trust any of the gear to do its job, I didn't trust my own ability to place it correctly, I didn't trust the rubber on my shoes to stick and I didn't trust my strength to keep me on the rock. I eventually got to the top, plugging in twice as much gear as I normally do.

That weekend I also did Siren, and if felt hard. I did D Major, and freaked myself out at the belay. I'd managed to convince myself that the second pitch was a steep terror, and I didn't have the strength or stamina to do it. I was at the belay for about half an hour, I'd almost convinced myself to bail (on a grade 10). That was as close as I ever got to giving up trad climbing after my fall. Eventually I sucked it up, got on the pitch and breezed it, as I should have done given it was a grade 10.

Since then I've been slowly working my way back up the grades, and I'm finally back, two years after my fall, to onsighting the same grade as I was when I decked. I do it with a lot more fear, and I am now anal about stitching up the start of each climb with a crap ton of bomber gear. Like the author in the article, I now see bailing off a climb as a very real option. Prior to my accident, I'd never really considered it. I'm a better climber now though. I don't have the stamina I used to (I don't seem to climb as regularly), but I place better gear now, and don't run it out just for the run of it like I used to.